Quit speaking that over your life!

  • I am stupid.
  • I am ugly.
  • I am not good enough.
  • I am too old.
  • I am too young.
  • I am incapable.

According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative. A lot of our thoughts about life and ourselves are pessimistic. We outwardly walk around in melancholy. A dark cloud over our heads exposing our dejected thoughts. Some of us conceal our despondent thoughts in hopes that the world would be blind to our insecurity as we cover up in nice clothes, fancy things and artistic instagram posts.

Think for a second. What is one negative thing you repeatedly say about yourself or think to yourself on a daily basis? What is that insecurity you say to yourself that haunts you at night and interrupts your thoughts each day? The words you speak, shape who you are. Whether through mere confessional joking or the thoughts you entertain that stirs insecurity; those words crystallizes and then shapes your belief about self, forms your character and establishes your worldview. What you speak will be what you become.


If you’ve read the historical fiction novel by American author Kathryn Stockett, The Help, or seen the film adaptation, there’s this moment where Nanny Aibileen Clack tells Mae Mobley, to repeat what she said. Nanny Aibileen’s words to Mae Mobley were, “You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important.” Nanny Aibileen wasn’t just doing a nice thing by saying those words. She noticed insecurity developing in Mae Mobley at the ripe age of 2 due to the neglect she received from her birth mom. Nanny Aiblineen needed Mae Mobley to speak words of perfect truth because she knew that whatever Mae Mobley, or anyone for that matter spoke of themselves, would be who they would become.

My husband is my Nanny Aibileen. There are days where I wake up and I all I can say about myself are negative things. I’d tell myself, I am ugly, I am too fat, I am not capable and I am just not cut out for it. That’s when Jarrod will scoop me up in his big arms, take my face in his hands and look me dead in the eye and tell me “Quit speaking that over your life!” He’d follow that by challenging me to speak absolute truths. He doesn’t let me wallow in the negative talking. He stops me in my tracks and challenges me to speak truth not death over my life. Face it, we have bad days, but bad days can easily turn into bad weeks, months and years if we allow ourselves to constantly speak words of death over our lives.

Words that stir poor self esteem, and low self worth are words of death. They kill our drive, kill our confidence and kill our character. Words of life, does exactly what the word is. It gives life. It stirs motivation, gives hope to each day and build our character. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 18:21,

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Simply put, whatever you speak over your life will be what you produce. If you speak you are stupid, ugly, not enough, too old, too young or incapable, you will live out those words exactly. Maybe not to others, but when you look in the mirror, that will be all you will see. It is far more than seeing though. You will act out what you speak. If you tell yourself you are stupid, you will make no efforts to learn. If you tell yourself you are ugly, you will make no effort in your outward appearance. If you tell yourself you are too young or too old, you will keep living in excuses and never live to your true potential. If you keep telling yourself you are incapable, you will never walk through doors of opportunity.

Champions make adjustments. Everyone else, make excuses. Whether you believe it or not, speak truth of life over your life. Be the champion and make adjustments. Excuses will keep you in the rut. Excuses will keep you defeated. Excuses will keep you from accomplishing your goals, from becoming a better you and from making a difference. Excuses rob your potential. Champion on! Now, quit speaking that[death] over your life.

As Nanny Aibileen Clack would say, You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important. Now say that out loud until you believe it.

Have you used words of death as an excuse to stay in the rut? What words have you spoken over your life that you need to rid of? Replace them with words of life!

One Comment

  1. This applies in all aspects. Too much negative spiritual, political or self talk can do damage, cause division and ultimately make the trajectory in your life into a different directions.

    Verbally saying positive, not venting as much and voicing goals and less opinions goes a long way.

    Lots to this article. One of your best yet! Can’t wait for the next

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