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Woman/Girl Boss

Urban dictionary describes a woman boss as a woman who can accomplish all tasks while remaining beautiful; a good-looking woman in an authoritative position in a business (non-sexual); a woman who is successful without the aid of others (although others may help to make things more convenient). I also like the term boss girl. Once again, the urban dictionary fails not to provide an accurate cultural description of a boss girl. That being, a woman who is self-made, running their own business, and acting as their own boss.

While I do not claim or fully support the cultural feminist movement, being a female, I do see the importance of uplifting those who are of similar biological makeup as myself. Men and women are completely different. Besides our biological makeup, our history has shaped a lot of what we do and how we have been able to step up and step out. The idea of a woman/girl boss would be rejected a century ago. Over the past century, opportunities for women grew significantly because of women who were bold, not afraid, and filled with a gumption for change. I applaud these women. I salute these women. Women who are full-time moms. Women who are part-time moms. Women who are working. Women who are grinding a side hustle. Women who are walking in their god-given divine calling. Women who have shut out the noise and stood up against the naysayers. Women who are conquering a disease. Women who are bold enough to be women. You. I applaud you for being the woman/girl boss that you are. 

There is a man who studied women well. He “knew” (insert wink) plenty of women. He wrote an entire chapter on women that we now refer to as the pinnacle for the righteous and perfect women/wives; Proverbs 31. 

According to King Solomon, here are the characteristics of a woman/wife of noble character: 

  1. Protective, brings life and passion (vs.10)
  2. Trustworthy (vs.11)
  3. Brings good (vs.12)
  4. Works with her hands (vs.13)
  5. Labors even if she needs to travel far (vs.14)
  6. Early riser and host to those in her home (vs.15)
  7. Makes strategic business decisions and investments (vs.16)
  8. Prioritizes her personal health and wellbeing (vs.17)
  9. Knows her calling and finds passion in what she’s doing (vs.18)
  10. Meticulous and discerning (vs.19)
  11. Compassionate and merciful to the poor and needy (vs.20)
  12. Has faith in her Savior even in trying times (vs.21)
  13. Is a woman of dignity who protects her marriage bed (vs.22)
  14. Lays a foundation of respect for her husband (vs.23)
  15. Knows her craft and thrives in doing this (vs.24)
  16. Shows strength in stature and models dignity in her clothing (vs.25)
  17. Speaks with wisdom and her tongue is filled with faith (vs.26)
  18. Manages her home and rejects idleness (vs.27)
  19. Praised and valued by her home (vs.28)
  20. Fears the Lord and trusts in His will (vs.29)
  21. Honored for her work (vs.30)
  22. Praised by those who surround her (vs.31)

I will admit, reading that list is intimating. Who can possibly live up to that standard? In many ways, you are living up to that standard. You may not have a spouse telling you so or children praising you in awe, but the God who created you sees your worth and the nobility you carry because you fear him. Too often, we have characterized Proverbs 31 woman as a woman who has it all. In essence, we’ve deemed that she is perfect and has no faults. If she is perfect then there would be no need for a savior. King Solomon ends the chapter with a statement we’ve overlooked time and time again. This statement summarizes the entire chapter:

“Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (vs.29-30)

The common title for a Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of Noble Character. Notice in verse 29 Solomon mentions that many women do noble things. In other words, many women do what he mentions in verses 10-31. This is referred to as charm and beauty. This nobility can be at times deceptive and fleeting (fades over time). The women that surpass them (the women who are of noble character alone) are those who fear the Lord.

HOLD UP! Does that mean we should not strive to be a woman/girl boss of noble character? NO! What this does mean, is that too often we are blinded by the culture of perfectionism as females that we fail to see that being a woman that severs the Lord and fears His ways is what surpasses the woman that strives to be perfect and do life without God in the equation. Being a woman who talks to Jesus and functions in the will of God surpasses all who reject God. These noble things will be a part of your story as a God lover. They can also be a part of your story if you reject God, but I promise you they will become your demise and fleet in worth. 

Before you strive to be the “list” of things, first make your priority to fear the Lord. That list will become a part of your character when you begin to fear the Lord. My challenge to you is, to quit being hard on yourself. Quit shaming and defaming your worth. You’re a woman/girl boss. You’re killing it! Be the God-lover woman of noble character.

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Disposable

The idea of being disposable is disheartening. Reality is, you and I are disposable. That’s quite the opposite of what I “preach” but hear me out for a couple minutes here. Disposable can be defined as, being designed for or capable of being thrown away after being used or used up — capable of being replaced. On this earth our time is very limited. We have a limited time to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be. We don’t get do overs. We cannot identify our shelf-life, but what we do know is that while we do have life, we should live. Too often though, many of us are not living. We have either remained on the “life shelf” or we have allowed who we are to be consumed by our talents that we truly have not seen the big picture. So what version of yourself do you want history to remember? Do you want history to remember someone that didn’t do anything, someone that lived ingenuously consumed by their talent or someone who lived with purpose?

The day I realized I was disposable is when I switched jobs and I was no longer being asked questions about how to do things. I was no longer “important.” I was replaced and disposed of. This wasn’t done negatively, rather naturally those who took over my position were trained and understood the job and got it done. I realized here that I had placed an emphasis on my knowledge and talent in my job that I lost sight of the big picture.

Reflect for a minute. If you were to die today, what would happen in your workplace? Now you may not work in corporate. That’s understandable. Wherever you currently hold a position, what would happen? If you don’t know let me give you a little insight. You will be missed. You will be missed for the first couple days. You will be missed for a couple months. But guess what? While you are missed, you will be replaced with someone that can do your job just as capable as you or even greater. While you are missed and loved, someone is able to fill your position and get the job done. You and I are disposable

Too often, we place our identity in our talents, career and titles we’ve been assigned that we lose sight of the big picture. We take for granted the borrowed time we have thinking tomorrow we will change, tomorrow we will make an impact, tomorrow we will be. But tomorrow never comes when we wait to become better. Tomorrow really isn’t promised to any of us. While talents, a phenomenal career and glowing titles are great on our resume, what really matters is far more simple. The legacy we leave behind is far greater than these things.

Now there’s some of us who have simply remained on the shelf of earth and have done nothing. You live, but your day to day living is simply as a means to make ends meet. You stay in your cubicle, you do what you need to do, an do so lacking purpose and goal. Oddly enough, you and I who live like this are equally disposable. Unfortunately, the memory we leave behind will be one that hangs simply on you existing physically and nothing more. Pretty morbid isn’t it. Our existence here on should not be wasted. Your time, should not be wasted. Too often we allow our lives to be consumed by our talents and dreams that we neglect to live. Too often we are consumed by fear of failure and taking the plunge that we neglect to live. And in doing so, our life here on earth lacked true meaning and we are replaced the moment we take our last breath.

Where am I going with this? It’s simple. Being disposable is uncontrollable. That is simply the reality of the life cycle of man. What you do while you have breath in your lungs is on the other hand ultimately controlled by you. You can either decide to live self-centered, without purpose, or with purpose.

Defining “living with purpose” is awfully difficult. Simply put however, living with purpose is doing what matters that is in alignment with ones values and beliefs. If you’ve followed only on my blogs, you’ve probably caught on that I am Christ-follower. I am never shy to share my faith in hopes that through sharing someone might gain a new perspective and hope to live with purpose. Doing what matters is doing what is right. Doing what is right should align with our values and beliefs and our values and beliefs should challenge and motivate us outside of ourselves. In Christianity, I find that true purpose is obtained. I am challenged to the hard things but the right things. I am challenged with purpose outside of titles, status and talents. I am challenged with purpose that places myself second and placing others first. I am challenged to leave a legacy of hope.

Our departure from earth, will break hearts, stir grief and bring sorrow. Our departure from earth will hurt our loved ones and those we work with, but our departure from earth will be replaced by someone else who can get the job done. So my charge to you is, leave a legacy that targets peoples hearts. In living we purpose we shift our perception of life from self to others. We shift our awareness from what I can do for “me” to how can I help those around me? We should use our talents, gifts and opportunity not to advance self, rather to create opportunity for those in need, encourage those who have lost hope and to expand the hearts of those around me. We should do the hard things, takes risks, live life fully leaving a legacy of hope. Our time on earth is limited. We are disposable. We get to choose what we do. Either a lot of nothingness or a life worth living leaving a legacy of hope.

Are you living with purpose, living for self, or simply not living? How can you leave a legacy of hope?

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Tele god.

On average, the daily time spent consuming content is now six hours and 59 minutes. This includes your phone, TV, and other forms of digital media. That is 48 hours 53 minutes spent each week being fed someone else’s agenda, propaganda and often meaningless entertainment. Wild, isn’t it?

Here’s some more staggering truth. The average time spent at church is 1.5 hours each week. Comparatively speaking, time spent at church is significantly less than the time we invest on our screens. Interestingly, even the 1.5 hours at church is tiresome for many of us. We can easily be entertained and fed by cable news. We’d rather give hours each week to political ranting, and reshaping of our minds by Netflix, Disney Plus and Hulu than to be fed spiritually in corporate worship. But more so, we’ve neglected building our personal theology and apologetics. We’ve been brainwashed to think like the rest of the world and to be okay with it. We use excuses to camp in front of the tele. We’ve justified our lack of church going, lack of bible reading and lack of praying for the tele god. There’s always something more important than God. Time, we tell ourselves, is what we don’t have to give.

Did you know that the television and God have similar functions? While one if far greater than the other, they have a very distinctive quality that shares some similarity. The Television was designed to reach over a distance. Two remote points connecting. While the source remains remote, they connect through electronic transmission. God, does the same thing. He reaches us while at a distance, very present. He connects with us remotely (through the Holy Spirit). The source we know is all powerful and consuming. He reaches us through biblical, prayerful, worshipful moments that are often unexplainable.

Why is it that so many of us can excusably spend countless hours in front of an object no more powerful than we allow it to have than we do with the One that IS all powerful? How is it that we’ve convinced ourselves that the lifestyle we’ve adapted is okay and Christlike? I’d say it’s because of pride. Pride convinces us we do not need God. And when we start believing that, we take the time we’d use for prayer, worship, Bible reading and church community building and replace it with something that robs us our growth. We’ve given the tele god power and authority to shape how we think and live. We devout our time to it and neglect the person we claim is our one true God. The pride that we’ve welcomed into our lives pushes God away. We are left convinced we have complete control over our lives, when in truth, we’ve simply given the throne of kingship to an inanimate object.

So, my question to you is this. Who is your “God?” Be honest with yourself. Let me help you out if you don’t know quite how to answer that question. Think for a moment and breakdown your weeks into days and into hours. What do your days look like? What do you wake up to? What do you come home and do? What do you end your day doing? What consumes your weekends? Whatever that thing is, it’s your “God”. If it’s not God our heavenly father, then you have a “god(s)” not God. Now, we can make God our God for personal gain and not through humble serving, but that’s a blog for another time. I want to hammer on the “god(s)” we’ve created in our lives that we’ve comfortably replaced with our Heavenly Father. Can I tell you something you won’t like to hear? Calling yourself a Christian does not make you a Christian. Saying the sinner’s prayer, while is great, does not make you a Christian. Let’s be real, going to church does not make you a Christian. What makes you a Christian though, is your lifestyle. Your lifestyle that makes God your priority. Your lifestyle that strives to live in humility. Your lifestyle that refuses to live the same years over and over rather chooses character growth. Your lifestyle that filters what goes and in and goes out. Your lifestyle that while not perfect, strives for perfection in Christ.

Many of us have made politics, entertainment, work, life stressors and maybe even our family as our god. We idolize and prioritize these things and neglect the one that created us, that is our source and life. We’ve become Christians by name only. Some of us, we simply wear that we are Christian on our trendy oversized t-shirts and as our Instagram bio, when if our life lived was played before us, we’d come only to realize that we’ve created many gods in our lives and neglected the one we claim to serve and love. Pride rejects God. Humility submits to God.

We are no different that those that lived in Biblical times. It’s fair to say that humans have not changed. In the book of Daniel, the pride of man was it’s folly. We see that King Nebuchadnezzar and King Belshazzar both struggle to prioritize God. You’d think, the king following Nebuchadnezzar should have learned from the mistakes made before his reign, but he sure didn’t. Pride is easy to come by and hard to let go of. It requires submission on our part that is often not something we are willing give. Take a wack at reading Daniel 1-5. You’ll read how easily both kings fell into the trap of pride and allowed other gods to become their source of assurance and self-worth. The interesting part is, God warned them. He warns us too. We are often too stubborn and distracted by the tele god to hear and see His warnings.

My challenge to you is to turn off the distraction. Even if it’s for an hour. Turn it off, and sit to hear God’s voice. If you’ve replaced church going to get caught up on shows, finish your DYI projects or to complete your weekend to-do list, I challenge you to give God 1.5 hours and go to church. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not much out of your day, week or life that you are giving. Unfortunate we have to look at it in that light, but for what it’s worth, turn the tele god off, and turn to the true, God. Someday we will give account of what we did on our time spent on earth. What are you going to tell God?

How much time each day do you spend in front of the TV? How much time do you spend being filled by God’s word, in worship, prayer or church going? What do you need to give up in order to give God priority?