Tag: motherhood

Categories
Uncategorized

New Mom Series: Remember You.

In conclusion to the New Mom Series, again I write not from the heart of a new mom that has walked through this role from personal experience, rather I write in hopes of being a mom someday that can maybe reflect on what I wrote. I’ve stressed over the past two weeks the difficulties that come with new mom life based on my research and observation. One of the biggest challenges I’ve stumbled upon is forgetting oneself. Rightly so, wrapped up in all things motherhood, I too believe it would be easy to forget all and bask in the squishiness and baby joys. It would be selfish to do otherwise. It would be selfish to think of anyone else other than the miracle before you. The women I glean to have reflected on their journey however say otherwise. That Proverbs 31 woman who neglects not self stressing the importance of remembering self; keeping the priority on God, spouse, and others. Seemingly selfish, however, the idea here is that the best version of you will be compromised if you follow any other model of doing life. In order to give your young suckling the best version of yourself you need not forget your growth in Christ and your love for your spouse. Hurting either or both has torn apart marriages and produced women who have to lose themself due to a lack of care for themselves and the man they once loved. These stories broke my heart. It’s understandable but the understanding doesn’t and shouldn’t be the pass of justifiability. 

So, to you. Remember you. Keep your mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional self a priority. Remember your spouse. He’s in this with you. Remember to be selfish. With the cries of a young child, you are important. Remember you. There is no condemnation. There is no shame. You are a mom. You are a mom that can do hard things! 

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
2 Corinthians 1:20 

Categories
Uncategorized

New Mom Series: Childbearing

Continuing the series on the new mom life, I wanted to touch very briefly on birthing a child. Disclaimer, I have absolutely no experience on this topic, but like the blog that initiated this series, I write not from the heart of a new mom that has walked through childbearing, rather I write in hopes of being a mom someday that can maybe reflect on what I wrote. In preparation for this blog, I did some research. I’ve read and heard of different women’s birth stories and compared/contrasted them as I went along. Some walked through a fairly easy birth while others edured immense pain from pushing a child through the birth cannal as well as unexpected happenings that shift what they had in mind as a solid plan. What I gathered from all these stories is that no matter how much we plan and prepare, birthing a child comes with many unexpected events. For some women, the expected life never became their reality and the challenges that come from losing a life so young and fragile coupled with walking home empty-handed and emptied in the heart is both gut-wrenching and humbling. 

The birth story is different for every woman. The journey walked cannot be compared with another. While there may be similarities, they each hold uniqueness to each respective female. I salute you who gave birth whether through vaginal birth or cesarean section. I salute you who endured childbearing medicated or unmedicated. I salute you who bear scars, stretch markes, and tears. In a world where we as women have been convinced the way to stand out is to degrade and ridicule the other, I say to heck with that narrative. It’s unbiblical and downright judgemental. While I do stand by remaining gritty with your life choices and not falling into the pressures the world brings, do what is best for you and your child. 

In my research of birth stories, I find one woman’s perspective who encourages women to do their research. Trust your gut and body she says. Above all, trust God’s plans. I couldn’t agree more. We are over-polluted with information. Everywhere we turn someone has something to say about what is right. We fail to see that birthing is not a 21st-century phenomenon. Childbearing and the birthing process have been around for centuries. Like we do with most things today, we’ve overcomplicated the process. Bottom line, in life’s approach, we should do what we believe is best for our and our child’s wellbeing. Don’t compare your story to any other. Trust God, trust the process, and remain rooted in your convictions. To myself, I encourage the same when the time comes. 

You can do hard things!

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
2 Corinthians 1:20
Categories
Uncategorized

New Mom Series: New Mom Life

I know what you’re thinking. I have no business writing about being a new mom because I am not one. I get that. While I write not from the heart of a new mom, I write in hopes of being a mom someday and something maybe I can reflect on whenever that time comes. I should also clarify that my husband and I are not trying so I will save you the excitement there. Now back to the blog…

I have many friends who are new moms or have been around the block for some time as a parent and wives. Watching from the sidelines I can see that there’s quite a bit that comes with the transition from non-parent to parenthood coupled with being a wife and an individual. There are pains that come with being a mom as well as there are joys. 

I’ve watched friends announce the joys of becoming a mom only for that moment to be shortlived with the heartwrenching reality of lost life in the womb. I grieve for those women whose worlds have turned upside down as they question life, who they are, and the name they longed to be called by the voice of the innocent, “mommy.” I watch as these women grace new mom life without the evidence of life in the form of a child. They grieve their pain while continuing the walk before them. To that woman, I see you. While you may feel alone, you are not. I pray for you who I call a friend that you may find healing and joy even in your losses. That you will cling to hope found in Jesus. I see you walking this new mom life without the evidence of a breathing child here on earth but I want you to know that despite the lack of evidence for the world to see, that doesn’t remove the fact that you are a mom. You are a mom. You are a mom that can do hard things!

To the mom who is approaching or has gone through labor and is walking through postpartum and feels freshly new to this new mom life, I see you. You’re wearing the joy of motherhood well behind tired eyes and messy buns. You’re taking on a new life in many forms and you’re doing so well. You’ve made mistakes already. You’ve cried from frustration. You’ve felt alone some days while you sit in silence as your baby suckles it’s natural. You’re not alone momma. Your body has changed. Your hormones are wildly confused as you are. Life is different and the old norm is no more. This new life you have before you brings fresh miracles of joy. Somedays it’s hard to see. Somedays you question your purpose. Is there more? Absolutely there is but I encourage you to see that motherhood is enough. You are a mom. You are a mom that can do hard things!

From my observations, the new mom life is difficult and in the difficulty there’s beauty. I hope to remember that. I hope to remember when that time comes to give myself grace. When that time comes, I hope to remember I am a mom that can do hard things. I hope, and I pray that when that time comes I will remember to find joy and dwell not in the difficulty of my body and hormones changing, of routine changes, and the losses that come with my old life transitioning into a new season. I pray to remember I am a mom, I am a person and I have a purpose with being a mom and outside of the beautiful title of motherhood.

You can do hard things.

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
2 Corinthians 1:20