Tag: trust

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You are worth(y).

I always thought that earning a degree, landing the dream job, getting married to the “right” person, loosing the weight or acquiring the status was where my worth lied. Let me burst your bubble if that’s your thinking too. You are worth it. You are worthy, now. Not when you earn the degree. Not when you loose the weight. Not when you get married. Not when you have kids. Not when you make a name for yourself. You are worthy, now.

The motive behind a lot of what we do is to receive the recognition, thumbs up or nod of approval from our parents and peers. That nod of approval is often lacking when we get to the place we’ve deemed as our destination of success. We feel as if we’ve failed when the approval we sought after is not given in the manner we desired or believe should have been given to us. I write from personal experiences. Yes, you read that, experiences. Clearly I didn’t learn the first time when I didn’t receive the recognition I desired.

Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Language series, shares that there are 5 love languages that people speak (receive) and give. We are innately built to somewhat depend on these love languages. They are human needs that satisfy and nurture who we are. While we can to some level speak on each love language, we have dominants that we tend to thrive on. I thrive on receiving Words of Affirmation and Acts of service. Likewise those are the top two of the 5 that I enjoy giving. If you haven’t taken the love language quiz, I encourage you to do so. You’ll learn a lot about who you are and the why behind what you do. I will say, while I am not a fan of personality tests that so easily sway us to place ourselves in a box, I do acknowledge the value these tests brings.

My strong words of affirmation and acts of service personality showed it’s face from an early age. As far back as I can remember, I can recall the desire of being affirmed by my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Whether it was cleaning my room, making pastry or completing an art work, I always sought after affirmation. I did not feel whole or complete until I heard the words “You did great” or some form of affirming congratulations that what I did was worth it and in turn made me worthy as a human.

Scary, isn’t it? That I place my worth in someone else’s opinion on whether what I did or who I am is good enough. I didn’t mature from this nature of mine. It’s a working progress. While my words of affirmation side is apart of who I am and thrive well in, it’s not where my value is found. In marriage, my husband gently reminds me after I make a meal or clean the house or complete a project that no matter if what I cooked was good or bad it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. No matter if I cleaned the house thoroughly or missed a couple spots here or there, it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. No matter if the project I started was completed or ended in defeat, it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. You get the point.

Here’s the thing, we serve a Father in Heaven and roams the earth that loves us and has placed worth in us that in unmeasurable. It’s timeless. It doesn’t require an action on our part. It’s given. That worth was established the moment of conception. You are of worth. You are worthy. Not when you do, or when you become. You are worthy now. If you are like me who thrives on the affirmation of others, can I tell you that you will never feel fully satisfied. Again, I speak from experience. I’ve sought approval and have both received it and was left empty handed. My husband affirms me every day, and even with his gentle love and affirmation he reminds me that my worth doesn’t come from his words, his approval or the approval of others, rather from my source. The only one who can fulfill and provide. The only one who can fill the gaps of yours and my heart.

Here is my gentle love and affirmation to you…

YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE WORTHY NOW!

You are worth it and we can have confidence in this because God is enough and, in Him, we are enough. We should neither worry or fret whether those are around us approve of who we are, how we look, how we dress or how much we have. Jesus states it well in Matthew’s account found in chapter 6 of the gospels. He states: 

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? [...] Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? [...] But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The key to your worth is seeking your source. Like a child running to their mom and dad for food because they are too young to care for themselves. You too are like children running to the source, God, seeking to be filled. Seek Christ first. Everything else will be added, after.

You are worth it. You are worthy, now.

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That’s not fair God!

You ever wonder why good things happen to bad people? I do. It’s mind-blowing to me that those who do evil, speak evil and just are plain evil get the good things in life. Not that I want bad things to happen to them, but I do want to see justice prevail. I especially hate whenever I work towards something only for it to not work out but for those who are not quite living “right” get the easy way out. It’s not fair!

Has that ever happened to you? I am sure you’ve experience this before. You were honest your whole career only to get fired and the person who was lazy, dishonest and cheated at their job got the promotion. Maybe it’s you lost a mom or dad that was serving the Lord with all their heart and you have friends who’s parents spit on God’s word and they are perfectly healthy. Maybe you were diagnosed with a terrible disease that took your dreams away only for your friends that are addicted to drugs and alcohol make it in life. I don’t know what you, “that’s not fair God,” moment is, but what I do know those are real and often hard to navigate through.

Many of us at some point in our life have questioned the goodness of God. We question why God allow good things to happen to bad people. It’s not like we want people suffer right? I don’t think that’s the majority of our hearts, but what we do want is “fairness” or justice. People get away with murders and crimes. People in power get recognition when they live a double standard life. People lie and cheat and never get caught. Christians who serve and love the Lord die from cancer. People who serve and love the Lord get fired from their jobs, lose their children and end up in financial difficulty. Christians who serve and love the Lord it seems like get dealt the wrong hand. Is God really good when He gives all the good to the wrong people? 

This is actually addressed in the Bible. The prophet Habakkuk actually felt the way we feel sometimes. In the book Habakkuk (yes the prophet Habakkuk named the book after himself), we find that the idea of “fairness” is addressed. Habakkuk is found in the Old Testament and one of the most unique books as readers get to listen on his conversation with God. This actually took place during the final days of the Assyrian Empire and the beginning of Babylonian’s world rulership under Nabopolassar and his son Nebuchadnezzar. We read that the prophet Habakkuk is trying to believe God is good when there was so much evil rampant.

In this book we find out that God’s word was being neglected which increased violence and corrupt leaders. We also see that those who do serve God are being treated as slaves and scums of the earth. The appointed leaders were abusing alcohol and sex and God wasn’t doing anything about it. And idolatry, the engine that drives corruption, was running rampant in the hearts of those who lived in Judah. It’s fair to say that Judah had it bad and Habakkuk wasn’t having it, so he talked to God about it. Habakkuk never accuses the people of Israel. He is the only minor prophet that didn’t meet the people where they were at and tell them to run from their wicked ways. The book of Habakkuk is actually a lamenting if you will. I conversation between Habakkuk and God on the injustice found in the kingdom of Israel. So, what did God say? In so many words, God says,

  • He will bring Babylon down
  • He uses the cycle to bring the rise and fall of nations
  • He doesn’t endorse actions, but what is puffed up will fall down

What did Habakkuk realize through Gods response? You read this in the closing chapters, that..

  1. You’re understanding of who God is will determine your response.
  2. When you cannot see God’s hand, trust His Heart.
  3. God is enough. 

When we see injustice and evil we tell ourselves that God really isn’t powerful and He really isn’t understanding. We tell ourselves that if God really is all that great He would fix and do. God just doesn’t care because He would make things better. Your understanding and view of God is one of the most important things because when we are faced with hard times, our understanding of God shapes our response. A lot of us lose faith, place up walls, become hard hearted, reject God and may even walk away from the church. Why? Because we are going through pain and disappointed that God wouldn’t fix things. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Habakkuk uses the word “rock” to describe God. Moses uses the same terminology. Rock is reaffirming that God is your stability. He says in Deuteronomy 32:3,

I will proclaim the name of the Lord.
    Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
    and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
    upright and just is he.

We may not have all the answers here on earth. We may never get the answers we so desperately desire, but what we do have is God. And God is enough. When life is disappointing and sad, remember that God is still your rock. We can cling to God regardless of what is happening because we know His heart. The righteous shall live by faith, not by looking around, but rather looking up for strength and hope. Trust God’s plan over your life. 

How can you trust God in the things that are unfair?

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If you weren’t afraid…

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? That is a bit broad for a thought-provoking question, don’t you think? Let’s narrow it down some. What would you do if you were not afraid of…

  • the opinions of others
  • disappointing those around you
  • not making money
  • disappointing yourself
  • failing

Many of us are scared. The truth is, fear have caused us to reject doing things we are passionate about or even things that we believe God has called us to but the world would say is too risky. We’ve chosen to live in fear, and as a result, we lack the courage to live bold. Living bold does not remove the presence of fear, rather, living bold tells fear it has no control over the decisions we make. But before we get into living boldly, let’s talk about living in fear.

One of the most freeing moments in my life is when I stepped away from fear and did what I believed God had called me to do. For some, this may seem small, but for me, this was one of the bravest things I could have done at the time. The end of Spring 2016 I packed my suitcases in obedience and traveled nearly 16 hours across the world to the continent of Africa. My final destination was Egypt, however along the way I stopped in Rome, Italy. In order to not share too much and jeopardize the work being done by those who are following the call of the Great Commission on an international scale, I will tell you more about the bravery entailed on this great endeavor.

Prior to 2016 I had never traveled on my own internationally. Now factor in that the only languages I know are Belizean Creole (dialect of English) and American English. So really, all I know is English. I was flying to two countries. The first speaking Italian and the second, Egyptian Arabic. I would be flying across the continent for a wonderful 16 hours to a land and people I could not fully communicate with. Months leading to the preparation of my internship, I remember fear overwhelming me. Fear of the unknown, fear as to whether I really heard from God or not, fear for my life and fear that I would not be able fundraise all the funds I needed for the months I would be staying overseas.

From a medical standpoint, fear weakens our immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems (ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome), and can even decrease fertility. Studies have shown that fear can lead to accelerated aging and even premature death. It’s fair to say, that fear is powerful.

Fear first starts off as a thought. Once our brains latches on to fear, it triggers a strong physical reaction in our bodies. Our brain then sends down alerts to our nervous system to respond or in most cases a lack there of. For the majority of people, fear presents itself through constricting reasoning and judgement making. While “playing it safe” isn’t all bad, living in fear stops us from living and doing. We are too scared to take the plunge, too scared to move and too scared to take the risk. All thanks to a thought of “what if…” Think on that for a second. You’ve allowed a thought to cripple and shape the way you live and do life. Fear, appears so small, but holds tremendous power over our lives. Only if we allow it to. 

Now back to my internship in Egypt. Had I allowed fear to hold me back, I would currently be writing about my biggest regret. Egypt was one of the bravest and right things I have done outside of marriage. I felt a deep urge in my heart from God to go and that is exactly what I did. I took a leap of faith and did! I made it there and back safely despite language barriers. The finances made its’ way long before my time to depart form the United States. In the end, I had plenty to leave in Egypt as a blessing to those who accommodated me during my stay. But was it all smooth sailing? Absolutely not.  In the airport both in Italy and Egypt, I had to figure out where I was going. I asked a lot of questions and had to step out of my comfort zone and make friends and communicate with my hands and the little words I studied in order to prepare for my time overseas. I was held in the airport due to riots and bombing. I was lost a couple times in making my way back home to my flat in Cairo. I was homesick quite a bit and even felt lonely at times among hundreds of people. That’s just to name a few. But do you want to know something? I have no regrets. I grew immensely during the months I was in Egypt. I made lifelong friendships, shared the gospel message and learned stories of those who are very different from me in culture but very similar in nature. I ate with strangers who became family, and learned a language that was tremendously challenging yet, beautiful all the same. I would go back in a heartbeat. I would take the risk and step away from fear immediately to live the life I once lived during the months I stayed overseas.

Too often we allow fear to hold us back. The “what if’s” in life control us that our life lived on earth is the same each day, week, month and year. The one thing we will never regain is, time. What we do with it, is wildly important. We either live and do, or simply be and remain the same. 

To live bold is to live with purpose. It is living objectively aimed towards intention, without reservations. Living bold is freedom. It is an overwhelming confidence that pushes past the reservations of the unknown. While boldness doesn’t remove the aspect of fear and doubt, it does challenge both and push past the uncertainty as a means to live courageously. Courageous living takes leaps and jumps. It says I may not understand it all, but I will live and do. One of my favorite quotes is by an unknown author. The author states, 

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.

The idea here is that God is good and His goodness is understood and trusted that while we may not understand everything and we may not have it all together, we will place the unknowns into His hand and live bold. In Christianity, living bold, is living by faith. Living by faith requires trust and belief in things we cannot see and hope for, and living as if it currently exists. That’s not blinding living, rather that is boldly believing. Bold living requires risk taking. Here’s the truth, whether you choose to play it safe or take risks, it doesn’t remove the opinions of others not does it remove the grounds to disappoint those around you and yourself. Failure and lack of monetary security still exists. If all your fears can play out both in the risk and the lack there of, then might as well just take the risk, right? So my question to you is this. 

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Whatever that thing is, do and live bold. You have the choice to to forget everything and run or face everything and rise.