I always thought that earning a degree, landing the dream job, getting married to the “right” person, loosing the weight or acquiring the status was where my worth lied. Let me burst your bubble if that’s your thinking too. You are worth it. You are worthy, now. Not when you earn the degree. Not when you loose the weight. Not when you get married. Not when you have kids. Not when you make a name for yourself. You are worthy, now.
The motive behind a lot of what we do is to receive the recognition, thumbs up or nod of approval from our parents and peers. That nod of approval is often lacking when we get to the place we’ve deemed as our destination of success. We feel as if we’ve failed when the approval we sought after is not given in the manner we desired or believe should have been given to us. I write from personal experiences. Yes, you read that, experiences. Clearly I didn’t learn the first time when I didn’t receive the recognition I desired.
Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Language series, shares that there are 5 love languages that people speak (receive) and give. We are innately built to somewhat depend on these love languages. They are human needs that satisfy and nurture who we are. While we can to some level speak on each love language, we have dominants that we tend to thrive on. I thrive on receiving Words of Affirmation and Acts of service. Likewise those are the top two of the 5 that I enjoy giving. If you haven’t taken the love language quiz, I encourage you to do so. You’ll learn a lot about who you are and the why behind what you do. I will say, while I am not a fan of personality tests that so easily sway us to place ourselves in a box, I do acknowledge the value these tests brings.
My strong words of affirmation and acts of service personality showed it’s face from an early age. As far back as I can remember, I can recall the desire of being affirmed by my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Whether it was cleaning my room, making pastry or completing an art work, I always sought after affirmation. I did not feel whole or complete until I heard the words “You did great” or some form of affirming congratulations that what I did was worth it and in turn made me worthy as a human.
Scary, isn’t it? That I place my worth in someone else’s opinion on whether what I did or who I am is good enough. I didn’t mature from this nature of mine. It’s a working progress. While my words of affirmation side is apart of who I am and thrive well in, it’s not where my value is found. In marriage, my husband gently reminds me after I make a meal or clean the house or complete a project that no matter if what I cooked was good or bad it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. No matter if I cleaned the house thoroughly or missed a couple spots here or there, it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. No matter if the project I started was completed or ended in defeat, it doesn’t change his love for me, nor does it increase or decrease my value. You get the point.
Here’s the thing, we serve a Father in Heaven and roams the earth that loves us and has placed worth in us that in unmeasurable. It’s timeless. It doesn’t require an action on our part. It’s given. That worth was established the moment of conception. You are of worth. You are worthy. Not when you do, or when you become. You are worthy now. If you are like me who thrives on the affirmation of others, can I tell you that you will never feel fully satisfied. Again, I speak from experience. I’ve sought approval and have both received it and was left empty handed. My husband affirms me every day, and even with his gentle love and affirmation he reminds me that my worth doesn’t come from his words, his approval or the approval of others, rather from my source. The only one who can fulfill and provide. The only one who can fill the gaps of yours and my heart.
Here is my gentle love and affirmation to you…
YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE WORTHY NOW!
You are worth it and we can have confidence in this because God is enough and, in Him, we are enough. We should neither worry or fret whether those are around us approve of who we are, how we look, how we dress or how much we have. Jesus states it well in Matthew’s account found in chapter 6 of the gospels. He states:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? [...] Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? [...] But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
The key to your worth is seeking your source. Like a child running to their mom and dad for food because they are too young to care for themselves. You too are like children running to the source, God, seeking to be filled. Seek Christ first. Everything else will be added, after.
You are worth it. You are worthy, now.